God was having breakfast the other morning
Coffee and bagels with the Heavenly Host
He'd gotten his email and checked the box score
Of the Angels game in the Washington Post
When he saw something in the Metro Section
An article that really caught his eye
And as he read he shook his head and said
"Oh no, not this guy!"

He said, "Gabriel, come here and take a letter
"To that Robertson guy, the one on TV
"Yeah, the guy who tells his people
'Send your money to Jesus, but make all the checks out to me!'
"Yeah, right, the fellow who just loves Charles Taylor
"Blamed 9/11 on all the liberals and the gays
"Well it seems that he want me to put
"Three Supreme Court Justices away!"

"Now, Gabe, it's one thing to steal my money
"And it's one thing to be a total sham
"But to pray out a contract on three folks you disagree with
"I mean, just who does he think that I am?
"And I have been listening to all his crap
"For way too many years
"And I believe it's time his prayers are answered
"But I don't think he's gonna like what he hears!"
Chorus
I'm talking 'bout love and understanding
And everybody working hand in hand
It's the only way you're ever gonna make it into
The Promised Land

"Tell him, Pat, I've really had it up to here
"With all your politics dressed up in Christian clothes
"Now the Beatitudes I've always figured were way more important than the Ten Commandments
"But I know you've forgotten every one of those
"And word you've been spreadin' 'round 'bout Islam
"How it's a perversion and it's a lie?
"Well, you know Allah, Yahweh and me?
"Surprise! We're all the same guy!"

Chorus

"And you tell him, Pat, you're really starting to piss me off
"So I'm gonna tell it to you straight
"Boy, you better change your ways or one day soon
"You're gonna find out that it's too late
"So just remember, I taught 'Love your enemies'
"And you know that vengeance is mine
"And I'm a loving God
"But, Pat, don't tempt me to change my mind!"