Let me tell you all a story
Though I'm sure you've heard
If you've paid the least attention
Then you've gotten the word
About the latest in America's
Favorite mix:
I'm talking
Politics, religion and sex
Yeah boy, brought many a dinner party, talk show, and federal government to a grinding halt

It seems that there's a preacher that's
Spending his days
Channel surfing searching for
Signs of gays
And he's just uncovered something
That the rest of us missed
Aimed at two year olds
And the guy is pissed
We're talking televised brain washing directly from Gay Control Central!

Teletubbies, Tinky Winky
You know the deal
He's purple, he's gay
And I say, "Get real!"
The color's pink, Jerry
And here's further news:
If he's gay his purse would
Match his shoes
Plus, you've got the wrong issue
It seems to me
The question is
Why should two year olds be watching TV?
But I know you've got a lot of
Witch-hunting to do
So I thought I'd help you out
'Cause you missed a few:
Like:

-Fred & Barney: remember the song? "we'll have a gay old time"

-Donald Duck: "never wore any pants…spent a little too much time w/all those nephews, don't you think?"

-Batman & Robin: wealthy single guy and younger man living in that big mansion, leading a double life, lots of tights and capes. Come on…

-Uncle Sam: he's your uncle, he wants you

-and, of course, the Purple One himself: Barney "I love you, you love me…" Gay

See, what I can't figure
Are his days so free
That he can waste 'em watching
All that kid's TV?
We'd all be better off
If you'd just begin
Preaching love and compassion
Instead of trolling for sin