Old Spice Guy:
Look at my fist. Now back to me
Now back at my fist. Now back at me
What's in your hand? Back at me
An expensive gift found in the sea

Now look again. It's a deadly piranha
Now it's veal parmigiana
I'm on a dolphin. Where are you?
You're on the moon, with no O2

Now look at me, I'm extremely handsome
Now you're being held for ransom
Behind you look, a box of kittens
At me, now back to Jason Witten

Close your eyes, Ok, now open
Now look down, your hip is broken
I'm almost done, soon you can talk
But if you attack, Terry Crews will block


Most Interesting Man:
Ha ha! I kill two stones with one bird
And feel bad for the stones
My raps are so good
It'd make a less interesting man explode
I'll drink your blood, and chase it with 151
I challenged myself to a staring contest
And on the third day I won

I'm the closest thing the world has ever come to perfection
When I get lost in the hood, gangbangers give me directions
Google searches me, dolphins watch me
My beard has seen more than you
And in Rome, they do as I do

I just show up, and bitches follow
I don't always give women orgasms
But when I do, they swallow

I've been a black belt in karate since I was in the womb
I'll leave dos equis over your eyes, kid. Go to your tomb
I'm kicking your ass, you're fighting off the urge to say thanks
Oh, and by the way, Old Spice will never smell as good as Axe

Old Spice Guy:
Old Spice smells better than fresh chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven
Cinnamon rolls, that new car smell, and blue berry muffins
Library books, Play-Doh, Wet paint and chlorine
Those giant felt tip markers and gasoline
All mixed together
Most Interesting Man:
I don't always call people liars
But Old Spice smells like your typical run-of-the-mill soap

Terry Crews:
Bah, old man, you've been talkin' for nearly an hour
I'll burn your ass with double sun power
What rhymes with explosion?
Another explosion
Now, excuse me, I gotta go work on my tits at Gold's Gym