One day
I’m gonna say
My last “Merry Christmas”
Don’t be afraid
I heard out in space
There are many Christmases among the stars

When I’m gone I’m gonna take my ship
To the planet of Boopity Bip
They’ve got Christmas there with nobody hungry
They all get unlimited bread sticks

Drive my ship to Dippity Dare
Their Christmas has affordable healthcare
All their pulpits talk about how
Jesus held power accountable

I’ll have an Alien Christmas
Jesus rose across the Zodiac and
They actually did what he said

Give me an Alien Christmas
When I die I’m gonna fly to
All the planets that do Christmas right

I’ll send an Alien Christmas to you
I’ll send an Alien Christmas to you

Somewhere I know
People feel low
But they’re trying to smile for
Christmas time
I feel it too
Someplace it’s true
They’ve got a
Perfect Christmas for every soul

After Earth I’ll take a warp drive
To the planet of Geepity Zie
They do Christmas with no prejudices
Empathy powers government systems

On my trip to Yoppity Yie
They practice a sustainable Yuletide
They keep their whole planet healthy
Culture follows science

I’ll have an Alien Christmas
Jesus rose across the Zodiac and
They actually did what he said

Give me an Alien Christmas
When I die I’m gonna fly to
All the planets that do Christmas right
I’ll send an Alien Christmas to you

I’ll send an Alien Christmas to you