(Spoken Intro)
[BASKIN]
Hey, Demetrius, how've you been spending your nights lately?

[ROBBINS]
I sure have

[BASKIN]
I asked you how, not if

[ROBBINS]
Aw, yeah, it's that time, all right

[BASKIN]
I guess it is time to sing about something that's very important to us

(Song)
Been a long week and it's time to set the mood

[ROBBINS]
With candles and bubbly-wubbly and a big-ass plate of food

[BASKIN]
My tummy's rumbling, and it's almost time to eat

[ROBBINS]
To sit on down and dig right in with the best company
[BASKIN]
But then I remember

[ROBBINS]
What'd you remember?

[BASKIN]
There's no one home

[ROBBINS]
I'm eatin' alone

[BOTH]
So I do what I always do and open up YouTube on my phone
Eatin' alone, so I have to watch YouTube
Can't stand the silence, gotta YouTube
It's not sad, there's just no one here to talk to
Scat scooby doo scooby doo, it's YouTube
Yeah, YouTube
Yeah, food and YouTube
All I need is me, food, and YouTube
Yeah

[BASKIN]
I'm eatin' pasta, watchin' someone make a lobster bisque
[ROBBINS]
And me I'm watchin' people poppin' pimples or a random Joe Rogan clip

[BASKIN]
Joe Rogan? I've tried eating without it and I'm never doing that again

[ROBBINS]
And as for me, I've been pairin' all my meals
With amateur documentaries that prove that the deep state is real

[BASKIN]
Wait, that's a really bad rabbit hole

[ROBBINS]
Well, if it is, then let me fall

[BASKIN]
I need YouTube to eat, and eating to live

[ROBBINS]
And I feel nothin' at all

(Spoken)
[BASKIN]
Wait, Demetrius, I'm getting concerned about the content you're watching vis-à-vis YouTube
[ROBBINS]
How so? I feel better than anybody on this flat Earth

[BASKIN]
See, that verbiage is scary to me

[ROBBINS]
No, what's scary is the snake DNA that the Rothschilds put into the vaccine to control your mind

[BASKIN]
Oh, no

[ROBBINS]
Did you know George Washington's real name is Malcolm X?

[BASKIN]
That's just not true. How the hell is your algorithm giving you this?

[ROBBINS]
Let's ask ourselves

[BOTH]
Ladies and gentlemen, The Algorithm

(Verse)
[ALGORITHM]
I am the Algorithm and I'm here to help
Bitch, I know you better than you know yourself
Oh, you watch travel vids? I can show you the world
Here's the 10 most savage moments from The Golden Girls

[BASKIN]
Wait, I do like that

[ROBBINS]
Man, hold up a minute. How did you--?

[ALGORITHM]
I'll take you down roads that you never seen
Bitch, I'm the architect of y'all's reality

(Spoken)
Well, here's an idea. How about you two eat a meal together?

(Sung Outro)
Eating together but still watching YouTube
Incomprehensible YouTube
Incomprehensible YouTube
Incomprehensible YouTube