[Intro: Police & LL Cool J]
Calling all cars, calling all cars
Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples
Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers
Last seen on Farmers Boulevard heading east.
Alias "LL Cool J", he's bad
Ahh

[Verse 1: LL Cool J]
No rapper can rap quite like I can
I'll take a muscle-bound man and put his face in the sand
Not the last mafioso, I'm an emcee cop
Make you say "Go LL," and do the Wop
If you think you can out-rhyme me, yeah, boy, I bet
'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet
Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good
I got a gold-made plate that says "I wish you would"
And when battles begin, then, I gotta join in, and
Before my rhyme is over, you know I'ma win
Cool J has arrived, so you better make way
Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play
Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job
I don't wear a disguise because I don't owe the mob
Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped
So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped, I'm bad
[Refrain: LL Cool J]
Cool J, Cool J, Cool J, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool J-J
Cool J, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool J, J-J-J, J-J-J-J-J

[Verse 2: LL Cool J]
I'm like Tyson, ice and I'm a soldier at war
I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more
Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years
And even when I'm braggin', I'm being sincere
Emcees can't win, I make 'em rust like tin
They call me "Jaws," my hat is like a shark's fin
Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax
Some brothers think he's makin' records, now he must've relaxed
I couldn't and shouldn't, and it'll stay that way
The best rapper you've heard is LL Cool J
Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done
Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one
And can happen on time, never standing on line
You wanna try me? First, you better learn how to rhyme
I'm the pinnacle; that means I reign supreme
And I'm notorious; I'll crush you like a jellybean, I'm bad

[Interlude: Police]
Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his group
DJ Bobcat and E-Love and then Cut Creator
They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open
Use extreme caution
[Verse 3: LL Cool J]
I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks
You were souped, you heard me, and your ego shrunk
I'm devastating, I'm so good it's shame
'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane
I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know why I pull
I enjoy what I'm doing plus I'm paid in full
Not Buckaroo Banzai, but bustin' out as I
Say the kind of rhymes that make emcees wish that I'd die
Never retire or put my mic on the shelf
The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself
Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad
You want a hit? Give me a hour plus a pen and a pad
Emcees retreat 'cause they know I can beat 'em
And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em
I'm the baddest, takin' out all rookies
So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies, I'm bad

[Refrain: LL Cool J]
Cool J, Cool J (Bob), Cool J (Yo, we get it), Cool J-J-J
Cool J-J, J, Cool, Cool J

[Verse 4: LL Cool J]
Never ever, no never
Never wearin' no Levis, battle me? Why try?
I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy, "Bye, bye"
Slaughterin' emcees and I'ma never get whipped
When I retire, I'll get worshiped like a old battleship
LL, I'm bad, all the rappers know
When I enter the center, they say, "Yo, yo, there he go"
My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge
Not a puncher or a hunter from a raccoon lot
The original Todd teachin' how to be hard
Take the skin off a snake and split a pea from a pod
You're a novice, I'm noble and I dissect with my tongue
Not Attila the Hun, Khan or Abdullah Hussein
My vocals exact, like rack and pinion in a Jag
You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag
No good scavenger, catfish vulture
My tongue's a chisel and this composition's sculpture, I'm bad
[Outro: Police & LL Cool J]
Think I'm gonna need backup
Think I'm gonna need backup
Give me that walkie-talkie
Yo, this is LL Cool J and you'll never catch me so don't even try it
'Cause I'm too bad for ya, understand?
Ahh
I'm bad