[Chorus 1]
I was a freshman, sweet 16 soon
I got a 12-pack Fruit of the Loom
It's nothing special, it isn't much
But for eight long years these undies held my touch
My last pair of high school boxers finally bit the dust

[Chorus 2]
So many memories inside these seams
All my ambitions and my wet dreams
My imperfections 'neath my waistband
Classroom erections, too scared to stand
Closing the front flaps, to hide my nuts
From the other kids in gym class I can't trust
My last pair of high school boxers finally bit the dust

[Bridge]
Awkward fumbles, hormone rumbles, backseat tumbles
With my boxers wrapped tight 'round my crotch
But as of late I've gained some weight I overate
And I've been sipping too much blended scotch

[Chorus 3]
'Cause this morning I bent down to tie my shoelace
I heard a loud rip and I scrunched up my face
It's the end of the friendship of boxer and Gus
'Cause my last pair of high school boxers finally bit the dust