[Verse]
Paper-based stickers can suck my dick
I try to peel 'em off, but the stickers still stick
So I peel it from side, but the stickers don't care
They split, they tear, leave shit everywhere
So I run it underwater just to get it unstuck
But the shitty little sticker quickly turns to fucking muck
So I rub it on my pants and I rub it on a towel
Now my pants are sticky and the towel is sticky
And the shitty sticker quickly shifts the shitty little sticker prickles

[Bridge]
Wait, could it be?
What's this little sticker laid bare before me?
It's not paper-based, it's a different race
And it will replace what has been disgraced, for you see
(I-- I'm-- I'm-- I'm gonna-- I'm gonna do it)
(It's a plastic-based sticker)
(Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god) (Ooh)
This is so smooth!
(Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god)
It's very easy to pull off! (Ooh)
(Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my-)
Why isn't every sticker just like this?!
(Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god)
You'd think it would be pretty simple!