[Intro: Otto Preminger]
Stop!
Before you skidoo
We'd like to introduce
Our cast and crew

[Verse 1]
Jackie Gleason was Tony Banks
Carol Channing: Flo
Frankie Avalon: Angie
Fred Clark: a Tower Guard
Michael Constantine: Leech
Frank Gorshin: The Man
John Phillip Law: Stash
Peter Lawford: The Senator
Burgess Meredith: The Warden
George Raft: The Skipper
Cesar Romero was Hechy
Mickey Rooney: "Blue Chips" Packard
And Groucho Marx played "God"
In the Otto Preminger film
Ski-doodle-y-do-do-doo

[Verse 2]
With Arnold Stang as Harry
Doro Merande as The Mayor
Phil Arnold as Her Husband
Slim Pickens as a Switchboard Operator
Robert Donner is another Switchboard Operator
Richard Kiel as Beany
Tom Law as Geronimo
Jaik Rosenstein as "Eggs" Benedict (Benedict!)
Stacy King as The Amazon
And Renny Roker as a prison guard
Roman Gabriel as a prison guard
And Nilsson as a tower guard
And Stone Country as themselves
And the Orange County Ramblers played the Green Bay Packers!
[Verse 3]
(And introducing)
Austin Pendleton as Fred
Alexandra Hay as Darlene
And Luna as "God's" mistress
Well, you know what I mean
Music and lyrics by Nilsson who also played a tower guard
Arranged and conducted by George Tipton, a very good friend!

[Verse 4]
Coreography: Tom Hansen
Costumes: Rudi Gernreich
Photographed in Panavision and Technicolor
Director of Photography: Leon Shamroy, A.S.C
Sound: Glenn Anderson, Franklin Milton, and Lloyd Hanks
(Thanks!)
Camera Operators: Irving Rosenberg and Dewey Wrigley
Chief Electrician: Fred Hall
Key Grip: Leo McCreary
Transportation: George Coleman

[Verse 5]
Editor: George Rohrs
Assistant Editor: Dean Ball
Music Editor: Fred Prior
Sound Effects Editor: Don Higgins
Negative Cutter: Connie Roese
Script Supervisor: Kathleen Fagan
(Oh boy!)
[Verse 6]
Art Director: Robert E. Smith
Assistant Art Director: J. Monte Elliot
Set Decorator: Fred Price
Special Effects: Charles Spurgeon
Painter: Eugene Acker
Property Master: Kenny Westcott
Commercials by John Urie
Executive Assistant to the Producer: Nat Rudich!

[Verse 7]
Dialogue Coach: Max Slater
Story and Casting: Erik Kirkland
Production Managers: Kenny Deland and Howard Joslin
Assistant Directors: Erich von Stroheim, Jr., Wally Jones, Al Murphy, and Steven North
Production Accountant: Herman Darstein
Production Secretary: Joyce Lilley
Costume Coordinator: Hope Bryce
Makeup: Web Overlander
Hairdressing: Vivian Thompson
Wardrobe: Ted Parvin, Phyllis Garr, George Thompson, and John Perry
Visual Consultant and Titles by Sandy Dvore
And once more, they were executed by Pacific
(Ahem, how's your popcorn?)

[Verse 8]
Copyright, MCMLXVIII
By Sigma Productions, Incorporated
(Your seat's on fire)
The story, the characters and the incidents are fictitious
Ho-hum, etcetera, etcetera
It's a Paramount TM Release
A Gulf + Western Company
Written by Mr. Doran William Cannon
Produced and Directed by
Um, uh, Otto Preminger