[Chorus: Nilsson]
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead (You haven't got a camera handy, have you?)
I'd rather be dead
Than wet my bed
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I said, dead
Than wet my bed

[Verse 1: Nilsson & Chorus]
Oh, I'd rather be gone
Than carry on
I'd rather go away
Than feel this way
Oh, I'd rather be there
Where you haven't got a care
And you're better off dead
Though it doesn't seem fair

[Chorus: Nilsson & Chorus]
Oh, I'd rather be dead (Oh, I'd rather be dead)
I'd rather be dead (I'd rather be dead)
I'd rather be dead
Than wet my bed
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead (I said dead)
Than wet my bed
[Verse 2: Nilsson, Ladies & Men]
I'd rather keep my health (I'd rather keep my health)
And dress myself (And dress myself)
But you're better off dead (But you're better off dead)
Than sitting on a shelf
I'll tie my tie
'Til the day I die
But if I have to be fed
Then I'd rather be dead

[Verse 3: Nilsson & Chorus]
And when he takes my hand
On the very last day
I will understand
Because it's better that way
Oh! It's nice to be alive
When the dream comes true
You'll be better off dead
It could happen to you

[Chorus: Nilsson & Chorus]
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
Than wet my bed
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
I'd rather be dead
Than wet my bed
[Outro: Nilsson]
Alright! Give yourselves a big hand!
[Clapping]