Robert Earl, this friend of mine
You know he's always looking after my best interest
He told me, "Lyle P. you need to get some action
And get your head back in line
You need to get out on your own, boy
This hanging around here's got to stop
Get out on your own, boy
And take a little trip to the record shop"

I said, "The record shop?
But, Robert, I don't need no records"
He just smiled and he said
"What you need is a record lady
Record lady, record lady
She's got the cutest little cartridge
That you've ever seen
She's a phonographic dream"

I didn't waste no time about it
I put on my coat and shoes
I packed up my old rocking chair
And I left them hell on Church Street blues
And I went down to the record shop
What else could I do?
She was five-foot-one and three-quarters
Lord, she claimed she was five-foot-two
And she looked at me with her big green eyes
She said, "Can I help you find something?"
I said, "What you got on special?"
Record lady
Record lady
She's got the cutest little cartridge
That you've ever seen
She's a phonographic dream

Acting very sophisticated
I began to browse around
I walked up to the record lady
And I said, "I sure do like what I have found
It would be so beautiful
Please, come away with me
We could run down to Istanbul
Or maybe even gay Paree"
And she looked at me with her big green eyes
She said, "Can I help you find something?"
I said, "What you got on special?"

Record lady
Record lady
She's got the cutest little cartridge
That you've ever seen
She's a phonographic dream
A phonographic dream

One day you know I will see my phonographic fantasy
In sweet fulfillment to the last detail
Down in Acapulco or even somewhere else
Just her and me together the whole day long
Her and me together playing them records all night long
She's the record lady
Record lady
Record lady at the record shop
She set it spinning, mama
Don't ever stop
My record lady
Record lady