When the game of life makes you feel like quittin'
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten
Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten

There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten
If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
Youll get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine, or break its spine
Crush it with your shoe, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten
To quote the bible, cause that's where it's written
If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Stick some TNT up its cat booty
Do what you must do, as long as you...
Kill a kitten
Killing kittens isn't easy
And if the thought makes you feel queasy
Grab a pitchfork from the shed
And kill a puppydog instead!
Kill a kitten, kill a kitten, for a mitten
Kill a kitten (4x)
Kill....