Intro: Lets bring out my friend, Mr Mark Teich
Teich - How bout a big round of applause for my opening act
*Lynch sticking the bird finger in Teich's face*
Teich: What is that, is that a bug
Lynch:I figured since I wrote a song for the ladies
I'd have to write one for the guys
Now fellas have you ever been in a bar and you and a lady make eye contact
And you know if you play your cards right you just might get lucky
Well this song is all about that

She gotta smile
Yeah, She gotta smile and
She's flashin' it right at me

She gotta wink, a wink across
The bar and I know that it's meant to be

She gotta walk, Teich, she walkin' over
And I think this could be my day

She got a ... friend
Eeeew she gotta friend;
Why's she standin' in her way?!?

It's her big fat friend!
Oh god there's always one
Big fat friend
To ruin my Fucking fun!
Well baby baby baby
If it's boots you wanna knock
Leave your chubbly friend at home
Because she's gonna block the cock
Now I'm afraid of no man
With any I'll contend
But I cannot compete *Lynch goes low*with your
Big Fat Friend
*Teich chokes on beer and everyone laughs*
Lynch - Who's the opening act now biotch?!!

(Well Big fat friend, Ah, we meet again!)

You won't leave her alone
You rolls your eyes; makes sarcastic
Coments while you're suckin' on that
Chicken bone
Well, you may think you've won the
Battle but I tend to dis-agree
See I know you, and your Achelies Heel
And he's standing next to me
My non-discriminating friend
(So what that you're a cow!)
Non-discriminating friend!
(I'll fuck you anyhow!)
Lynch:Now I know he smells like Whiskey
And he's had a couple rounds

Teich:But with every shot of Jager
Hey you loose a couple pounds!

Now baby baby baby bring the
Evening to an end
Just You and me and my pal
And your big fat friend

You and me and my pal
And your big fat...

You and me and my pal
*Teich gets lower*and your big fat...

You and me and my pal
*teich gets even lower*and your big fat...

You and me and my pal
*Teich gets high pitched*and your big fat...

Teich - Wait a minute, just stop right there
Come here fatty, come here, *points to side*
Role that and I'll fuck that
God what are they feeding you?
Just you and me and my pal
And your big fat friend!!!

Lynch - It's beautiful I've seen him do it!*about Teich screwing a fat chick*