Everyone knows Jesus. The man who healed the lame
Well I am Jesus's brother. Craig is my name
Jesus is the Prince of Peace. Jesus is the Lamb
Jesus is the Son of God. But Craig don't give a damn

Because when Craig's in sight, we'll party all damn night!
I don't turn water into wine but into cold Coors Light!
I'm not my brother, I know
Don't walk on H2O
But we got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow!

I'm fuckin' Craig! [x3]
Craig Christ

I hang out with lepers
Barabbas and Salome
Jesus' friends are called apostles
Those dudes are totally gay
Jesus performs miracles
From Galilee to Rome
But it would be a miracle if he brought a fuckin' lady home

Because while Jesus is prayin'
Fuckin' Craig is layin'
Every lady in the Testament you know what I'm sayin'?
I won't die for you sin
Like my famous kin
But if you got a little sister then there's room at this inn!
I'm fuckin' Craig! [x2]
I'm fufah Crah!
Craig Christ

Jesus was our mother's fav'
All her love to him she gave
But there's no sibling rivalry
When he's nailed to that tree, yeah!

And now the question for you
Is not "What Would Jesus Do?"
But "Where will you be when the Craig Machine comes partyin' through?"
And if the Lord will allow
You've got to ask yourself how
And who and why and when and where is your Messiah now?

It's fuckin' Craig!
Fuckin' Craig!
Fuckin' Craig!
I'm fuckin' Crrraaaaiiig!
Craig Christ. [x3]
I'm fuckin' Craig