[Verse 1]
It's college time again
September's almost here
I’m hanging with freshman girls
Frat party, kegs of beer
I see a girl I’m wanting
Mixer at Delta Chi
We take some Oxycontin
Dave Matthews, getting high
And then as I undress her
And start my stimulus
She says, “But wait, professor
This wasn't on the syllabus”

[Hook 1]
I’m the bad professor
I’m the bad professor
A tenured titty caresser
I’m a bad, bad man
(Find the pocket on ‘em)

[Verse 2]
Tutor her in my apartment
Turns into a slow dance
Hey, baby, what’s your minor?
Got your major in my pants
I love her student body
She wants a better grade
I say, "If you roll over, I’ll throw in financial aid"
I hope you boned up for your midterm
If you want, I can help you cram
Don’t give a shit about the essay test
So let’s skip it and get to the oral exam
[Hook 2]
I’m the bad professor
(That’s a blowjob reference)
I’m a bad professor
Your money’s on the dresser
I’m a bad, bad… man

[Outro]
I’m in ?Monchey?
We really found the pocket on that one man
I don’t even know what that means
That’s musician talk