Stephen Lynch
Today You Are a Man
[ROBBIE]
There's a gift from every guest
[ROBBIE & BAND]
Today you are a man
Robbie:
The cocktail franks have all been blessed
Robbie & band:
Today you are a man
Robbie:
Your goyim friends have been agog
Since they left the synagogue
Drunk on schnapps and in a fog
And speaking Hebrew best they can
[SAMMY]
(attempting Hebrew.)
Lachaim!
[ROBBIE & BAND]
Cause you are a man!
[ROBBIE]
There's a waitress dressed up like a go-go
[GEORGE]
But remember shiksas are a no-no
[ROBBIE]
Go shake hands with each Tom, Dick, and Herschel
[SAMMY]
They'll be shvitzing
And what's even worse you'll
[ROBBIE & BAND]
Have to kiss your aunts
And watch your zayde dance
But remember this
It could be ten times worse
At least it's not your briss
Your briss
Today you are a
[ROBBIE]
Boy-boy-boy
Boy-boy-boy
Boy-boy-boy
[GEORGE & SAMMY]
Boy?
[ROBBIE]
No!
[ALL]
A man!
Ole!