Clerk [Spoken]:
Now, kids, couples always argue when they come here to register
My advice is, be very careful...

Clerk:
It's a situation
First fight
I've seen couples face disaster

Why not tell yourselves
You're both wrong
Both right
It means that you'll make up faster

Robbie:
I hate to tell you but we're not with each other
We're sister and brother

Julia:
And he's the slow one

Robbie:
She's an idiot according to mother

Julia:
It takes one to know one
Robbie & Julia:
Tell the night
To save its moonlight
Tell the birds
Not to sing
Tell the stars
In the heavens, they've been misaligned
'Cause it's not that kind of thing

Crystal [Spoken]:
Look, a sale on towels!
Hold my purse for me

Mookie [Spoken]:
Baby, please. No

Crystal [Spoken]:
I said hold it!

(Crystal holds out her purse. Mookie takes it sheepishly.)

(Julia holds out her purse.)

Julia [Spoken]:
Um, Robbie? Hold my purse?
Robbie [Spoken]:
No

Julia [Spoken]:
I said hold it!

Crystal:
You get stuck with them for better

Julia:
Or worse

Julia & Crystal:
No matter which way you stack it

Robbie & Mookie:
It's emasculating holding a purse

Robbie:
And it doesn't match my jacket

Your evil scheme has worked out just as you planned it
I now understand it

Julia:
I shop, you carry
Robbie:
I do the work and you make out like a bandit

Julia:
It's true

Robbie [Spoken]:
No. It's scary

Julia [Spoken]:
No. You're scary!

Robbie [Spoken]:
You're scary!

Robbie & Julia & Ensemble:
Tell the night
To save its moonlight
Tell the birds
Not to sing
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned
'Cause it's not that kind of thing

Robbie:
True, there are times
When her eyes meet mine and linger there
Maybe a bit too long

Julia:
And I wonder
Is there something hidden in his stare

Robbie & Julia:
No, I couldn't be more wrong

All:
Tell the night
To save its moonlight
Tell the birds
Not to sing
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned
'Cause it's not that kind
No, it's not that kind
No, it's not that kind of thing

Julia [Spoken]:
Oh my God, Robbie
That's the dress. That's the dress I was meant to get married in!
You think I'll look all right?

Robbie [Spoken]:
You'll look beautiful