Urthboy
CAIRNS, Cairns Civic Theatre
Tuesday 23 July, 2013

I still get excited by flights, or at least flights long enough to watch a movie. I boarded my flight from Sydney with every intention of studying the work docs our accountant gave me as homework, then proceeded to watch a movie with The Rock. Fuckin' The Rock. I imagine a salon-tanned prune riding a garish speedboat around the canals of Surfers Paradise when I think of his acting career. Of all the places in the world where people are happy to suspend their disbelief to enjoy a shit movie it's on a plane. Nope. Tired

Content with having ignored important work, my mind wandered to this tour supporting one of the best songwriters Australia has ever produced and the looming possibility of my grand scale public humiliation. I was sitting next to Lozz Benson, our 22 year old drummer on her first proper tour, who compulsively says sorry. Will the audience responses on this tour cause me to pick up this habit?

Jane met us in Cairns, having moved back to Melbourne recently. She's a great friend, an amazing singer and super important to our show so it was great to see her. The fourth piece of the puzzle is Alex Dawson who plays keys but his knowledge of audio engineering and tour managing make him a good guy to have around.

I look at this tour as a great challenge - our plan of attack is to give a little context for my songs and hopefully trick people into tolerating the show. Just as a hypnotist waves a pocket watch. We get out there and enjoy the gig; I think the spell worked.

Paul very kindly asked Jane and I to join him for a song so I madly try and memorise the lyrics between my set and his. It's all for nothing though, as I find myself standing next to Paul in front of a full theatre and promptly forget almost every line apart from the fist and second last. You haven't lived til you've painfully mumbled non-words beside a hero in front of a full house. I'm the best! Jane wisely opted out.

All was momentarily forgotten when we piled into Paul's dressing room drinking his very tidy whiskey, all a little relieved that show #1 was in the bag. 27 to go.

The early set as 7.30pm meant we skipped dinner so my last triumphant moment was staring blankly at a frozen pizza in a microwave at 2am. Bought it from a BP. It was The fuckin Blob.