[Verse 1]
Who's that waddlin' down the street
It's just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am
Every picture of me's gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me, there's just one thing left to do

[Chorus]
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Now get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Might seem a little severe
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!

[Verse 2]
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When I'm all done eating, I eat a little more
When I leave a room, first I gotta grease the door
[Chorus]
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Can't have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere

I'm on a grapefruit diet
I'm on a grapefruit diet
I'm on a grapefruit diet

[Bridge]
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No French fries now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. Cheese Nacho
Stay away

Oh, I think I'd sell my soul for a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang when I put on my belt

[Chorus]
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Lay off the 3 Musketeers
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
I eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
'Cause I haven't seen my feet in years
I'm on a grapefruit diet
I'm on a grapefruit diet
I'm on a grapefruit diet

[Outro]
I think I'm about ready for a Quarter Pounder with extra cheese, and maybe a side order of onion rings and-oh, don't forget to super-size that, yeah!