(Ah, rock your brains, honey)

When the baby comes out you have to thank the midwife
Into consciousness swims the fish turned human son
As they hack away the umbilical with a breadknife
That's when somebody turns the television on

Then the baby lies down to breathe upon the table
That's as long as nobody cooks it by mistake
Get a mammary gland to keep it feeling stable
And a little TV to keep itself awake

(Oh, it's the Flintstones!)

Watch your intelligence
Damaged goods are good for nothing
Watch your intelligence
Do not adjust your mind

(C'mon, ruby baby)

Then the baby grows up to be a young consumer
People selling it things it doesn't really need
But whoever set this one up had a sense of humour
'Cos inside every baby there's more baby seed
Watch your intelligence
Damaged goods are good for nothing
Watch your intelligence
Do not adjust your mind

It's not a TV set, it's not a TV set
It's not a TV set, it's my home, I live here, don't touch
It's not a TV set, I'm not a TV set
It's my home, thank you very much, good night, whoa

So you think your mother is a television
And your father is probably a restricted drug
Ain't it hard to grow up and make your own decisions
When you're under hypnosis, staring like a bug?

Watch your intelligence
Damaged goods are good for nothing
Watch your intelligence
Do not adjust my mind

It's not a TV set, it's not a TV set (you got a family, you own a flag)
It's my home, I live here, Donald! (you got a television, you know, I want to think it's kind of a trinity, you know)
It's not a goddamn television, it's not a goddamn television (I mean, the father, the son, and the holy ghost, and the Tom Selleck and the...)
You can't turn people on and off, they're not appliances!

It's not a guarantee, it's not a guarantee
There is no guarantee, there ain't no nothing, nothing
Nothing at all
There ain't nothing at all