They just wanna see me at my worst until I’m falling apart
I’m still standing through it all, I wear my scars on my heart
You don’t gotta waste your breath I knew this all from the start
This something scary like a figure in the hall when it’s dark

I see it every night

My shadow too scared to follow
I ain’t been myself enough to care I’m hollow
This ain’t for your sympathy, could you spare the sorrow?
Threat upon my life your funeral be prepared tomorrow

Every time I close my eyes feel like I’m trapped in a curse
You think you finally made it out until it’s back and it’s worse
I feel my body breaking down, it’s hard to laugh when it hurts
My time is over you can feel the pain attached to these words

I play the past in reverse & hope I crash in a hearse
Never thought I’d have to question what I’m actually worth
No competition ever mattered if I’m last or I’m first
I’m trying to live forever under the grass & the dirt

So can you take away my pain and give me something that’s real?
I’m tired of using all these substances to numb what I feel
Its getting hard to fight the feeling of me clutching the steel
Can't really play the cards you handed with a fucked up deal...


[Chorus]

Things are gonna change, at least I’m hoping and I’m praying
Lord save me from myself I need to focus what I’m saying
Every night I gotta question am I going or I’m staying?
Laugh about it cause I wish that I was joking or I’m playing like

How the fuck did my pain
Replace everything that I love
In my brain?

Swear to god I never wanted this shit
And now I’m buried alive
The only thing my life ever did
Prepare me to die
(x2)



[Verse 2]

My whole life I had a dream, I put it all in my pen
Now I’m tearing at the seams falling apart from within
It gets dark, my days hard so I don’t call on a friend
Getting lost with these thoughts inside a bottle of Hen
I take it to the face

Give a fuck how you feeling
I'm talking to these walls staring up at the ceiling
Swear to god I hate myself with these drugs how I'm healing Blacking out with this microphone I'm drunk and I'm spilling

This something real and when you feel it
Let it open your brain
Hope you tap into your spirit
So you notice my pain
Driving drunk hoping I don’t
Lose control in the rain
These drugs take away my fears
While they flow in my veins

I know it’s wrong but I had to do this all on my own
I think about it when I block out every call on my phone
I can hear the crowd screaming from the walls when I zone
I’m surrounded by the demons that been haunting my home

Another song about my struggle, yeah I know it’s getting old
Give a fuck Ill paint the picture how my story getting told
Still standing through it all swear to god I’ll never fold
I know it’s hard just remember when you weather the cold, that

[Chorus]
[Outro]