[Intro]
("She won't come, just when you want it")

[Verse 1: Everlast]
Ya see, I'm Irish, but I'm not a leprechaun
You wanna fight, then step up and we'll get it on
You'll get a right to the grill, I'm white and I ill
A descendant of Dublin with titanic skill
I ducked and I swing, next thing, your jaw's broken
Punk, I ain't jokin', you can bet you'll be chokin'
On a fist full of nuttin, meanwhile I'll be puffin'
On a fat blunt, what punk? You don't know the half
Tryin' to talk shit, man, please don't make me laugh
These Irish eyes are smilin', I'm buckwildin'
The House of Pain is pumpin', start jumpin'
Freak it, funk it, back seat trunk it
If you can't get wit it, you'll wind up sweatin' it
Then you'll get a beaten just like an egg
It's so hard to run when ya got a broken leg
But we can have a run off, the House of Pain'll come off
We got the cake that you're tryin' to get a crumb off
The Irish stylie, the Celtic jazz
No one has it, just us, that's it
If you try to take it, I got a big shillelagh
I don't have dreads, 'cause I shave my head daily
You call me a skinhead, I call you a pinhead
Yo, where you been man? Just like the Tin Man
You got no heart, here comes the good part
I pick 'em, buck 'em, cut 'em up, and buck 'em down
No fuckin' around
[Pre-Chorus: Everlast]
Homeboy, ya get clowned like Krusty
Trust me, you shouldn't play
And by the way

[Chorus: Everlast & "Cheech and Chong" scratches]
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("Hey, are you giving us a hassle, man?")

[Verse 2: Everlast]
Greetings, salutations
Peace to the Nations of Zulu and Islam
Crack a bottle, rev the throttle
Put the gear in, now you're steerin'
Like Mario Andretti, so let me kick it
'Cause I can make a wicked noise like a cricket
Rubbin' his legs, my rhymes are like eggs
An' [?] I'll keep layin' 'em, I keep sayin' 'em
This is the House of Pain, we're far from plain
But we're not fancy, Ron and Nancy
So "Just Say No", but I say go
Straight to hell, I kiss and tell
[Pre-Chorus: Everlast]
So if you're a ho, all my friends know
What ya gotta say? Let's hit the hay
And have no delay, and yo, by the way

[Chorus: Everlast & "Cheech and Chong" scratches]
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("Hey, are you giving us a hassle, man?")

[Interlude]

[Verse 3: Everlast & Danny Boy]
"Extra Extra!" read all about it
How could you doubt it?
Now scream and shout it
The House of Pain, soon will reign
Over the Hip-Hop scene in white, gold, and green
I rip shit and backflip like a Jedi
I roll with the groove and I'm smooth, and you can bet I
Come correct and get respect when I'm flowin'
Collectin' my dough, I got your girlfriend hoin'
And how do I know that she's sprung?
I know she's sprung, 'cause yo, the D's hung
Like a Shetland pony, gettin' paid like Sony
[Pre-Chorus: Danny Boy & Everlast]
So never ever try to play me out like a phony
'Cause I can get real
Thick like a bowl of Malt-O-Meal
And by the way

[Chorus: Everlast & "Cheech and Chong" scratches]
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("What's the hassle, man?")
Top o' the mornin' to ya
("Hey, are you giving us a hassle, man?")