[Skit 1: Brando+]
Uh, yeah, no⁠— when I heard that Fukkit was dropping a new project called Cerberus
Err⁠, cer⁠— you said cerebral? Cerebral? Cer⁠—cerberus
I was like who the fuck even cares?
This guy's a fucking clown, he has no talent
He's not even good-looking
Like, he just says the same shit all the time, and people think he's the shit?
No, bro, like, I listen to MF DOOM, that's real rap
Fuck this Fukkit guy, he's a clown
Like⁠— fuck Fukkit

[Skit 2: ISAACAMARGO]
Uh, hey, guys, this InvoluntaryIncel37FuckTheChads, um
I saw somebody leaked a new song from Fukkit's new project, Ce-ree-brus, that shit was crazy, man
Like, everywhere I'm hearing them say that he sounds the same?
I don't reallly⁠— I don't really understand, y'know?
He's really good, man
Like, I would let him cuck me anyday

[Skit 3: Sabino]
Wow, I'm really glad I live in the time where I can instantly stream this
If I would've been in the time of Limewire, with the weight of this project, would've taken easily 64 hours to download

[Skit 4: Fukkit]
We're live with DJ Fuck Cock in the fuckin' gulag
You think you like dogs? You haven't heard anything
Listen to Fukkit Cerberus
When you listen to Cerberus, you might have to go down the street, buy yourself a new fuckin' dog
Any dog, just anything you can name Ceberus
It could be a fuckin' iguana, as long as you get to say
"Hey Cerberus, I love you, Cerberus, Cerberus", 'cause you love Cerberus
That's how you're gonna feel after Cerberus
Cerberus, live, Cer⁠—
[Skit 5: Fukkit & Sabino]
Hello?
Hey, how are you, this is Tom from Best Buy
I wanted to let you know, your order for Cereebrus⁠—Cerberus⁠—it's not gonna arrive on time
Fuck
You're gonna continue to be vulgar?
God
Okay, sir, this call is monitored and I'm gonna have to hang up on you
Fuck you

[Outro: Fukkit]
Just wanna give a quick shout-out to everyone who worked on the album, man
Thank you Dutchman, thank you Kami, thank you Kay P, thank you Sabino
Thank you everybody, man, it's Fukkit season, you know what the fuck's good