I am a puppet on a string
I am the worst thing worst thing you've ever seen
I am impossible to believe
I'm pulled by gravity shocked by my depravity

I'm irrational, I'm illogical, hypocritical, a bleeding heart liberal
I'm an alien dressed like Gideon, I'm a malcontent
A thorough modern idiot, watch me as I fall

I am humble I am vain
What motivates me something I can't explain
I am outrageous and insane
I'm fueled by gasoline, alcohol and nicotine

I'm irrational, I'm illogical, walking chemical, a bleeding heart liberal
I'm an alien dressed like Gideon, I'm a malcontent
A thorough modern idiot, watch me as I fall

I'm an honest hypocrite, imploding modern idiot
I am a slave to my abuse, convicted, caught with no excuse
I'm pathetic apathetic, disillusioned, disconnected
I am lost I am free, I'm impossible to believe

I'm irrational, I'm illogical, hypocritical, statistically impossible
I'm an alien dressed like Gideon I'm a malcontent
A thorough modern idiot, watch me as I fall