Have you met Toad?
He's Princess Peach's PA
Just between us, I think he's definitely gay
You may not agree, but listen close and you'll see
He's very likely to be a big gay
(Big gay)

He shops for shoes like Aretha Franklin at a big hat store
He's a Judy idolizer, with facial moisturizer galore
(Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay)

He loves ballet
And he owns the Golden Girls on DVD
He went to seminary
Link says he's a fairy for sure
(And Link knows his fairies)

On the other hand, he may just be metro
Plenty of guys are goin' that way, today-ay
And if he's gay, we still would like
Would like
Him anyway

That's my friend Toad
So yeah, he's definitely gay
It's not his fault, they cultivated him that way
He swears that he's bi, we're pretty sure it's a lie
But either way a fungi who says "hay!"
You feeling a little homophobic there, Brent?
Well, ever since Toad dumped me on my birthday, uh, yeah!