This coming Thursday
Is Valentine’s Day
I was just wonderin'
What you might say

If I were to ask you to forget what we both know
And maybe pretend that it’s a—about a year ago
I’m really not asking much, and how long could it take?
All I’m saying is
Why don’t we fuck for old times' sake?

I could bring flowers
I know you like that stuff
I would bring chocolates
But you’re fat enough

And you know what, I am too!
That’s kinda like the point
So put your lips on me and not another lonely joint
For one night only, we could have and eat our cake!
Stop acting like you’re such a goddamn prize
Come on let’s fuck for old times' sake!

See, this is why we could never work out:
You’re a bitch, and I’m too nice
Don’t give me that same old shit about how I want the goods but won’t pay the price
I know you’ve got your pride, but put that shit aside
I’m laying my balls on the line for just one night with you
Don’t act like you have plans!
Oh, you really do
First date with someone new?
Oh
I did not know that

I guess that’s different
So now I'm a joke
Guess they call it a break-up
‘Cause something’s broke
I should hang up now
Yeah, we're better off, you're right
Unless, of course, you don’t have plans for later on tonight...

Hey look, I dare you to tell me that I am not the best you’ve had
Okay, I dare you to tell me that I’m not among the best you’ve had
Okay, forget it, look
If I took a cab straight there will you still be awake?

It’s not about Valentine’s day at all
It just gave me a better excuse to call
So save me from feeling stupid and small
You won’t regret it much in the long, long haul!

Why don’t we fuck for old time’s sake?

Hello?