Wow, there's so many new video game consoles coming out!
I'm gonna save up my allowance and buy 'em all!
You might wanna think twice about that, kiddo

Back in the '90s when you bought a new system
It was basically ready to go
But those days are gone by, so buddy, don't be that guy
You wanna be the first in line, but I say, "no, no, no, no, no!"

They won't have near enough games, no matter how great they seem
It takes at least a year or two before they're runnin' full steam
Yes, it's a dirty little trick, so you gotta be staunch, kid
Don't ever buy a console at launch
I'm bein' serious
Do not ever buy a console at launch!

But the video game companies promise all these great games and features within the first year!
Sure, just like presidential candidates
They'll say anything to get your vote, the way game companies just want you to buy their console!

Didn't you want a new Wii U?
More like P.U.!
PS4?
Oh, give me more!
Xbox One?
Xbox done!
Ouya?
Uhh, what?
The OS'll be a mess, so you gotta be staunch, kid
Don't ever buy a console at launch
Now sing it with me
Do not ever buy a console at launch!

That's right!
And even if they release a picture perfect device
You know that 6-to-12 months later they'll be droppin' the price!
Ain't that some crap? It's a trap, so you gotta be staunch, child
Don't ever buy a console at launch
(Or Apple product)
But don't ever, never, never buy a modern gaming console at launch
Don't try it, don't you buy that console at launch!
Yeah!