Everything was swell
Until someone split the Dark Moon
Then something strange brought on a change

E. Gadd to Luigi!
Am I comin' in clear, do you read me?
Bad shit's heatin' up like fondue
Gonna beam you to my crib like Tron do
These ghosts seem unassailable
Don't worry, they're still inhalable
Kinda wanted somebody less failable
But your bro Mario's unavailable

Step into the dark
Five new creepy mansions

Gotta stop that King Boo
'Cause he broke up the whole Dark Moon, dude
Now he's bringing that new Boo voodoo
Everybody's in deep, deep doo-doo
The ghosts in the valley are super-peeved
Do you have to wipe your nose right on your sleeve?

Come be our special guest
In one more spooky quest
I need someone who sucks
And you suck the best (Okay)
The best (Okey dokey)
Your sucking beats the rest (Let's a-go)
Get your face outta that toilet bowl
You gotta save a little clingy-ass Toad
That ain't confetti comin' out your hose
Just skin cells, mold, old boogers and ghosts

Add magic to a spooky hall
Shine the rainbow light over on the wall
And that's life, 'cause after all
Sometimes ya just gotta suck some balls

Step into the dark
34 new missions

You really gotta be OCD
Like the worst guest at an Airbnb
Get gold, get cash, get blings
Then pay me to upgrade my own things
A gold bone? That's an extra life
Ya better dig for gold like Donald Trump's wife

Look at you bringin' that badass jive
Burning a harmless arachnid alive
What does it look like inside of your head?
This plant has feelings but you're like "dead"

Used to be you were the gentler bro
Smarter and nicer than Mario
Give you a vacuum and boom, bang, pow
Luigi, you're the monster now
Come in for ghostly scares
Spend half the game on stairs
Save Mario again, but this time he cares
He cares
For once he really cares