He's a secret agent, in the face of death he laughs
'Cause he solves any problem with the use of arts and crafts

He can kill you dead without a single gun or bullet
It's like Mr. Wizard hit the gym and grew a mullet

He makes chicks cry
You too, come on, don't lie

He's the master of the jerry rig
That's a fact
He's like Beakman and Bill Nye on crack

Makes his clothes, cuts his own hair
Shaves his balls with plastic silverware

If you're trapped have no doubt, give MacGyver a shout
If there's any way out, he'll know! (oh, he'll know, he'll know)
Watch as he saves your life with a Swiss army knife (how'd he do that?)
This is the MacGyver show!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale!
I mean MacGyver, sorry
It sounds a lot like Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers
Anyway
He escapes evil troops
With disguises made of his own poops

Yes, he does, because
He's MacGyver
He-he's Ma-hac-gy-hy-ve-her
This is the MacGyver show!