Shovel Knight!
His spade shall smite
And he won't take anybody's shite!
Not he
(Two, three)

Long ago, there lived a knight
With a lady love-slash-other knight
They roamed the land (It was grand)

Till a fateful day, they roamed astray
And his lady love was sealed away
Alone was he

Oh, but then, the land was seized
By a league of bad knights, namely these
Led by this evil miss

Now an evil light's begun to shine bright
So steel thy shovel and fight!

Strike the earth right in its butthole!
Treasures await! Excavate!
You're gonna defy the laws of swords and fishing!
Never need bait, just sit and wait, reel in your fate!
Watch for rats, exploding rats, helicopter rats and wind-up rats
There's lots of rats (Pitter pat)

You also can talk to a six-foot cock
Or a knight right out of BioShock!
Then kick his butt

Journey on, and sleep till dawn
Have a dream, and wake up woebegone
"Oh shovelry, where is she?"

Well, you'll never know unless you heave-ho
To the tower of fate you must go!

Ghosts abound, so pound them with your balls of light
(What a sight!)
Yes, go and combine the greatest parts of DuckTales
And Mega Man
And Castlevania, and Zelda II

Steel thy shovel, it's up to you!