There's our hero, Mario
You rescued Daisy, but I'm sorry, bro
A few days ago, I broke into your home, and so
Now it's Chateau Wario!

Wario has major balls
Mario's castle is missing a wall
Since when did he have a castle at all?
But whatever, dude
Now he's on the move

Enter Voltron Mario's shoe
Be super-careful or you might get screwed
There's a big turtle, he's gonna eat you
Let him chow down and now you're his poo

No raccoon or Tanooki selections
But the bunny ears will give ya wings
Pretty soon, you'll exhume a complete collection
Based on every type of flying thing!
Right

Now it's Crane Game Time, let's do this!
Grab a carrot! Grab a flower!
Grab a heart, you can't resist!
Keep it goin'
Ow, my nostril! Someone help me!
Why does this even exist?
Ugh, that was awful
Ow, my eyeball! Motherf***er!
Why, god, why?! What kind of madness is this?!
Great, I'm blind now!
Wonderful!

Maybe you should have stuck to the plumbing!
Maybe you should s*** my c***!
Really?
Ew, no!

Jason needs a doctor fast
That's what you get with a dollar store mask
Mario really should move his fat ass
Before Wario takes the whole place over

Mustached Euro-Anglo male
Greedy big nose guy is bent on betrayal
Wait!
Hitler's "Mein Kampf" told the very same tale!
Oh snap! Tumblr was right, they hate Jews

Bovine fish, hippo snot, it gets nutty
Grab a flower, now you're Cherokee
Get inhaled by a whale and check out his gut
He really needs a colonoscopy!
Key change, mofo
Now you've got the coins in hand
It's time to go make the ultimate stand
Wario's just a small balding elf man
So yeah, that's Super Mario Land!
(It's the sequel)
(They're not equal)
(It's the sequel)
Super Mario Land 2!