You will buy these things
You will buy these things
You will buy these things

Welcome to the Wii Shop Channel
We have software and games to sell
So we wrote this hypnotic tune
Which turns your brain into a prune

Oh yeah, pruny brains
The kind of brains that buy stuff
Even games that no one ever played
(Yeah, we've got lots of that)

We've got classics like Chew Man Fu
Who could forget Neutopia II?
Double Dungeons and Dragon's Curse
They sound fun right? Now grab your purse!

We want your cash, mit no frivolous distractions
Minimal design!
Simple, pure and light!
Here's the bottom line: basically, it's white
Catchy music, it makes you buy
And it's so fun to watch you try
It may take you a thousand clicks
Party like it's 2006
Buy the game, it's better than a cartridge
Who would want to blow a faulty cart?
(Gay and lady carts!)

You need Wii Points to buy our stuff
It looks like you don't have enough
You must input your credit card
And we purposely made it hard

Ha ha ha ha
Look at your face
You just clicked for twenty minutes
Then we switched the side where you click for Yes
Do it all again!
Trollin' for the win!

Yeah! Mein little Wii
We're gonna make a strange, clunky little store program
And we'll use the money to buy beer and spam!

Buy some stuff, and then please buy some more stuff
That's my song about the Wii Shop
Not to be confused mit eShop
Please shop at the Wii Shop till you die
Or if you're not old enough, ask your parents for help