Another day of puzzles and human hunting
Lying in wait and wanting simply one chance
Another day of looking cool in my cape
And generally being great and wearing no pants

I look for humans all day long
Then I take a little spaghetti break and back to the grind
I keep maintaining all of my brilliant puzzles
Hold your skull tight because they'll blow your dang mind!

And yet in spite of all of my dedication
Sans, you're as lazy and dim as a cow
Get off your bones! Your puzzles need calibration
What if a human were lurking near us now?

Sorry, I was just staring at this lamp
Uh-huh
It’s really cool
Uh-huh
Do you wanna look?
No, you skeletal scallywag!
I don't have time for that
What if a human comes through here?

We must be watchful, on our toes, eagle-eyed
If humans should happen by, we won't let them go
My puzzles rule! And also this junior jumble
How do I stay so humble? I do not know
And look at this one! Blades will slice, spikes will swing
This puzzle has everything, it gives me such glee!
Sooner or later, humans will come again
And someone will capture them and it will be me!

And on that day, you all will say "Hail Papyrus"
I'll finally get all the things I deserve
First off respect, then reverence and recognition
It will be me all the little people serve!

Undyne and Asgore they’ll say "Well done, Papyrus!
You've toiled well, toiled long, toiled hard"
I'll bathe in kisses all day and all night
They’ll promote me to the head of the royal guard

Hmm, maybe this lamp will help you
Sans! You are not helping, you lazybones
All you do is sit and boondoggle!
Hey, take it easy
I've gotten a ton of work done today
A skele-ton
Sans!
Come on, you're smiling
I am and I hate it!
Take your stupid human-shaped lamp and get back to work
You get back to work
I will!
Back to our day of tracking evasive humans
They won't escape our two-man skeleton crew
Another day preparing for deadly battle
Honing a tactic that'll turn their hearts blue

I will attend to my puzzles
As for your work?
Put a little more backbone into it!

And one day soon, my puzzles will catch a human
Then maybe someone will want to be friends
And all my woes will come to an end

I'll be the captain of the guard
They'll hold me in such high regard
The praise will be prodigious
And I'll be so prestigious
So popular and powerful
The path I walk so flowerful
That all the fairest monster drones
Will line the block to jump my bones
And someone
Will want
To be my friend!

I'll catch a human, join the guard
And finally have a friend!
(Hey!)
Heh