So I'm into breakin' rocks now
Yeah, I'm down with chopping trees
I am not the woodsy kind or mechanically inclined
But today, I built a house
I mean, for bees

Folks have called this game addictive
So I tried it out one night
I've been playing for a while now
And it turns out they were right

I have not seen my bed in 13 days
But I'm pickin' berries and I'm making mayonnaise
My cauliflower finally sprouted
And for some reason, I give such a shit about it

People made a lot of hay about this game
But now I get it and sweet Lord, I love making hay
So many things I never do
But apparently, in lieu, I star do

I give diamonds to my homeboys
And I'm workin' toward a wife
Peoplе like you 'cause of gifts
So I pass 'em out in shifts
I wish еverybody liked me, just like real life
Found some goodies in the garbage
Found a mouse who runs a shop
But the thing which I have not found
Is a way to make it stop

My phone has six hundred and three missed calls
But a cowboy wizard gave me drugs and I tripped balls
The feet are falling off the bunnies
Wait, what?
When I buy seeds, I blow like eighteen thousand monies

I'm in shambles and I have no good excuse
But I clear brambles and I brew potato juice
All these skills I don't pursue, well, they're finally comin' true
'Cause I star do

I just gotta play one more day
Gotta play one more day
Gotta play one more day
Gotta play one more day
One more day, oh, gotta poop
But it's on the Switch, so we're good

How is this so much better than Harvest Moon
When it's basically Harvest Moon?
A much better soundtrack, no load times, great goals
Adoption, inclusion and streamlined controls
I'd recommend this game to anyone, anywhere
Just as long as you've got fifteen hundred hours you could spare
So I guess this is my life now
And I've just stopped asking why
Maybe it'll be okay, what a way to spend a day
Fish and farm and chop and shop
And cry and cry and cry and cry

There's a twinkly little light I see
Maybe I should go to bed
I tried playing Stardew Valley
And oh wait, yeah, I'm dead
Worth it