Plan a getaway, we're inviting you to stay
For six or seven nights at least
Lay your sleepy head on a comfy bed
We'll make sure you rest in peace

Luigi, you saved me, thank you, my friend
Oh shit, we did it again
King Boo, déjà vu, wait, I know what to do, here
Another twin who's braver than you
Didn't Peach used to have her own plane? 'Cause damn
I never seen a royal passenger van
But hey, you're in luck, I brought a portable hut
Luigi, for God's sake, stop scratching your butt
Ghost brawls are back, crank calls are back
And the ominous unlit halls are back
Long falls are back, cracked walls are back
And the big shiny suckable balls, they're back

This is the third time you took the bait, Luigi
Wow, what a real smart guy
We've got you now, we'll show you how
This time, you're gonna die!

You gotta find the hidden doors, open panty drawers
Roam the corridors, shiny buttons let you into the floors
But when you take the elevator, you'll be waitin' a while
'Cause it's masking those load times Mass Effect-style
Before you pick a fight with dinosaur bones
Grab some Chaos Emeralds and Infinity Stones?
There's a rent-a-cop here, but he don't wear shoes
'Cause in this hotel (All cops are Boos)
So bust shit up and beat some ass
In case of Toad, break glass
You're such a wuss, not a hero at all
But when a building's haunted, who you gonna call?
Soon you will hang in my gallery, Luigi
You can be sure of that
But while you're here, please be a dear
Suck up that freaking cat

Excuse me, I have some questions
What is this hotel? Who is it for?
How is this entire garden thing only one floor?
Have any other people tried to book a room?
And tell me, who does what with this sexy broom?
Do you have an investor? Is there principal owed?
Did you even get a permit? Are your bathrooms up to code?
Do you host ghosts, or are ghosts just the hosts?
What would Mario say? All toasters toast toast

Anyway, Luigi, listen up
You'll fight magical girls and you'll battle kaijus
Plus a big scary face, you know, the uge
Upgrade your sucking, wow, that's better
Wait, Nintendo merch? Wow, that's meta
Pop magic keys into King Boo's tongue
It's things like this that keep me young
You're in a hotel, we can all agree
So why's it called Luigi's Mansion 3?

Welcome to a hotel, not a mansion
Such a ghostly glow (Such a ghostly glow)
Not a mansion though (No, no)
Scratchin' your butt in a hotel, not a mansion
Such a queasy gut (Such a queasy gut)
Such an itchy butt
Let's take it home, now!
This is your last chance to save your friends, Luigi
You must prevail somehow
Work with your goo, yes, it takes two
You stopped King Boo for now

Luigi number one!
So, can I be in the HD remake of Super Mario Sunshine?
Hoo-hoo! No