[Verse 1]
Moral Kombat!
In the near future, courts of law go super fast
There's no jury, just a judge
Gotta win in three days max
My name is Phoenix Wright, and I'm an ace attorney
So grab a seat, groove to the beat, and join me on my journey
I live in California, and by that I mean Japan
Got a suit of blue, a big red tie and hair like Gemini Man
It's a comedy of errors with the violence of Macbeth
So cute and charming (Murder!)
Zany, wacky, jokey (Death!)
Yeah, I meet all kinds of weirdos on my justice-seeking quest
The dudes are total dicks, and the ladies have big breasts

[Refrain]
Come on, y'all!
Dicks, boobies, dicks, boobies, dicks
Boobies, boobies, dicks
Dicks, boobies, dicks, boobies, dicks
Boobies, boobies, dicks
Uh, boobies?

[Verse 2]
I'm rated T for teen and even one time rated M
But I've got pop culture chops, and each reference is a gem
If you have a big objection to where I'm coming from
You can take that, hold it, and shove it up your bum
My name is Phoenix Wright, I'm a semi-decent lawyer
With the help of magic stones and my hot-slash-dead employer
So court is now in session, Judge Santa Claus presiding
If a witness has a secret, I will find out what they're hiding
Pressing and presenting, I will find a resolution
Fighting liars on the stand (and the kinky prosecution)
My client isn't guilty, which I'll prove with my defense
So now all I have to do is choose the perfect evidence
Here we go
[Outro]
Objection! (Nope)
Objection! (Nope)
Objection! (Nope)
Guilty! (Ah!)
Objection! (Nope)
Objection! (Nope)
Take that!
Not guilty
Haha, obviously