Wario has really got a hold on quite a lotta gold here
He found this excavation, so he said, "I'm gonna call it mine" (Hey)
Now he's drivin' down a mineshaft in a finely-oiled Minecraft
Violating regulations, what a silly prick (Hey)

Wario's got quite a lotta Shy Guys that he supervises
They started organizing for basic healthcare and overtime (Hey)
He responded like a goon and busted up their Shy Guy union
Fired them and hired scabs, he's such an evil dick (Hey)

Talk about a minecart, here's your freakin' minecart
And when I say "minecart", I don't mean a minecart
I mean with a "K" kart, Mario Kart 8 kart
Really, it's a go-kart, so key change, mofo (Kart)

Wario has got a colosseum, also a mountain
He owns a shipyard and a dam and a stadium, wait, two stadiums
Hoarding all his toys, that's what he enjoys
He should sell his assets and retire to the Virtual Boy

Wario's got boogers on his breath and bats in the belfry
He puts up signs of himself to say, "Yo, this friggin' place is mine" (Hey)
Cheap construction, shoddy nailing, uncompleted safety railings
No one should be driving here, but also, look, a hawk (Ah)

Wario's got monster wheels and his face on a glider
He loves to drive the Sneeker so he can beat everyone on foot (Hey)
Only wants to get the gold, his greasy heart is black and cold
And that is why he always says, "Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine" (Hey)