INTRO: Bartleby! Herman Melville! What a winning combo. Chyeah!

VERSE 1: (LARS)

One day I placed an ad for a systems engineer
He showed up in a Toasters shirt, with AirPods in his ears
He was fluent in Java, Python, PHP
I told him he was hired, his name Bartleby
His workflow was incredible, 10 sessions on his screen
Fingers flying I was crying ‘cause I'd built the perfect team
Only wish I’d met him earlier, it's really not that funny
How an office space in Sunnyvale can burn that VC money
I said Bartleby, will you do this simple task?
Update your iOS and try to run our app? And he said

CHORUS:

No! I'd prefer not to
No! I’d prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to

VERSE 2: (Mega Ran)

In the morning Mr. Turkey's steady coding like a pro
Pumping data, without failure, but he starts to slow down later
And Nipper's got a tummy ache from last night's dinner
And starts to get distracted, won't put down the fidget spinner
So questions arising over cryptic algorithms
To solve the dispute, they seek Bartleby's opinion
We’re setting up e-commerce, please input the database
But the office was astonished when they heard Bartleby say…
CHORUS:

No! I’d prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to
No! I’d prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to

LARS: Hey Turkey! I know you're named after a flightless bird, but I heard you've been working on your scales

(Trombone solo)

Can someone please explain why...

VERSE 3:

LARS: Bartleby won’t leave his office, starring at the brick wall
Twenty-seven empty Red Bulls on his desk, but that's not all

MEGA RAN: If he doesn't leave, we'll probably have to relocate
He just won't obey, so he's got no case

LARS: So the cops took him to prison
And San Quentin's where he sat
In a cell in San Rafael, I guess he should've ran that app

MEGA RAN: A scuffle breaks out in the yard
Guards telling him you got to
Return to your cell — but he preferred not to
CHORUS:

No! I'd prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to
No! I'd prefer not to