[Verse 1]
Ooh, it's a lonely night in my cold coffin, oh so tight
Anime pillows decorate these inner walls
As I'm rattling around in these dark halls
I search the internet for some clues
I throw up when I see naked women, I'm so confused
This isn't what sex could be
Vaginas and butts are for poo poo and pee pee

[Chorus]
Ooh, baby, it’s a lonely night
Here in my coffin, oh so tight
I've got no dick but I love to bone
On this night, I'm all but alone
Ooh, baby, it's a lonely night
My cheap pillow waifu feels so right
I've got no dick but I love to bone
On this night, I'm all but alone

[Verse 2]
A dark night of melancholia
I open up a book filled with genitalia
Oh my god, page after page of nakеd dudes?
Why is the hair on his penis callеd pubes?
I call a doctor to ask if this is true
He answers with anger, "Hello, h-how are you doing?"
I slam down the telephone and then I scream
Why would the penis cough up nasty white cream?
[Chorus]
Ooh, baby, it’s a lonely night
Here in my coffin, oh so tight
I've got no dick but I love to bone
On this night, I'm all but alone
Ooh, baby, it's a lonely night
My cheap pillow waifu feels so right
Sunglasses at night with my saxophone
I’m tellin’ ya baby, I just love to bone, yeah

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
The thought of an organ makes me sick
To the point that I wish I could smash my own dick
I say no thanks I’d rather dislocate my head
And shove it all the way up my ass when I spread

[Chorus]
Ooh, baby, it’s a lonely night
If I see some skin, I'll vomit inside
I've got no dick but I love to bone
On this night, I'm all but alone
Ooh, baby, it's a lonely night
The sight of an ass, gives me a fright
Climb into my coffin and my boner will never soften