*Hoot!*
*Hoot! Hoot!*

[Intro: Joel]
Welcome...
You've entered a secret zone...
You've entered the secret society...of the pigeon milkers...
It is time... to explore... the ultimate... pleasure...

[stock voices]
(start the eJay x-ray jam!)
Tekkno vibes... INFINITY...
Tekkno vibes... INFINITY...

*Hoot!*

[Joel's Albert Wesker impersonation]
Welcome. You've entered Umbrella Corporation, Chris. *Hoot!* For our secret milking of the pigeon, for the ultimate in pigeon (tekkno)

*Hoot!*
*Hoot!*
*Hoot!*
*Pigeon sounds*

[Chris Redfield]
Give me an egg. HURRY!
Nice
[Joel]
It's time to BREASTFEED THE PIGEON

[Chris]
Help!

[Joel and stock voice clip, alternating]
Pidgeon
Tekkno
Pidgeon
Tekkno. *Hoot!*
Pidgeon
Tekkno
Pidgeon
*Hoot!* Tekkno vibes
Pidgeon vibes
*Hoot!* Tekkno vibes
Pidgeon vibes
*Hoot!* Tekkno vibes
Pidgeon vibes
*Hoot!* Techno vibes
Pidgeon vibes

[Joel, robot voice]
MILKING OF THE PIGEON AT 85% (I'd rather not!) ENGAGING SUPER MILK PROGRAM!
*Woman screaming*

[Wesker]
Now you see the power of my milking, Chris. (WESKER!) But now, it's sf-time for another level(o--o-oh-oh, o-oh)... CHRIS MILK!

[Chris]
I'm not... gonna make it!

[Stock robot voice clip]
Prisoners 281, you are free. Prisoner 282, you are free. Prisoner 283, you are free. Prisoner 284, you are free
This ship is out of control
This ship is out of control
Captain

[Joel]
Pidgeon

[Wesker]
You might've won this time, Chris. But I'm not destroying the world, I'm MILKING IT!

[Joel]
Come on everybody it's time to dance
Drop your Albert pants
Get down and get into the machine
Time to drink some PIGEON CREAM!
*Woman screaming*

[Chris]
I can't hold any more

[Stock voice]
I'm back from the intergalactic trip
I'm back from the inter- pigeon
I'm back from the intergalactic trip
I'm back from the inter- ah

[Joel]
It's time to milk
MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MILK! MIIILLLKKK!

Give me milk

[Chris]
WEEEESSKEEEEERRR!!! I'M CUUMMIIING!
*gooey splatter sounds*

[Wesker]
COMPLETE. GLOBAL. LACTATION!

[Chris]
Shit

[Chris]
Nice

[Outro]
(𝐇 𝐎 𝐎 𝐓 !)