Mars Argo
Delete Your Facebook
[Titanic Sinclair]
I can't hear out of my left ear. At all. I can't hear a fucking thing.

[Mars Argo]
That's weird.

[Titanic Sinclair]
I think I punctured or hit my eardrum.

[Mars Argo]
What happened when you were cleaning it?

[Titanic Sinclair]
I've used Q-Tips for 26 years. Never had an issue. Today, I hit it, and I was like, oh, maybe I went too deep that time. And I was just like - for like a half hour and I was like, fuck. And I tried to, equalise it.

[Mars Argo]
Well, blow ai- blow air through it.

[Titanic Sinclair]
It's the only thing that makes it feel better. And it's like, it goes - and I can feel it closing back up. Something's like-

[Mars Argo]
You need to go to the ear doctor.

[Titanic Sinclair]
-dramatically wrong. It's like, I finally have 8000 dollars in the bank, and let's give it all to a fucking doctor 'cause I don't have insurance. Then I'm gonna put a shotgun in my mouth and blow the brains out of the back of my head.
[Mars Argo]
Cool!

[Titanic Sinclair]
Welcome to our Computer Show.

[Intermission]

[Titanic Sinclair]
I like when people complain about things so I check my Facebook as often as I can.

[Mars Argo]
Delete your Facebook. My life is unbelievably boring and I need to broadcast that to the world.

[Titanic Sinclair]
I wonder if anyone I forgot about from high school is getting married? I'd better check my Facebook.

[Mars Argo]
I wonder what my dad's best friend from college thinks about the president.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Delete your Facebook.

[Mars Argo]
Today I deleted my Facebook!
[Titanic Sinclair]
Facebook is my daily reminder that nobody I know is interesting.

[Mars Argo]
Updating Facebook is annoying.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Delete your Facebook.

[Mars Argo]
It's the year 2014 and I'm publicly announcing that I'm deleting my Facebook.

[Titanic Sinclair]
In the year 2006, I deleted my MySpace. And it is now the year 2014, and I am deleting my Facebook.

[Mars Argo]
Hey jerk, delete your facebook. Facebook will die! 'Cause it's annoying.

[Titanic Sinclair]
If I could, I would have sex with my phone.

[Mars Argo]
Hey, look it! I'm a swan. Ready, watch. Watch this.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Sometimes I feel like I have AIDS, and HIV is my iPhone.
[Mars Argo]
Am I the ugly duckling that turned into a swan?

[Titanic Sinclair]
Honestly, sometimes I feel like people who don't have iPhones, I feel like they're just way... less than.

[Mars Argo]
I'm a swan.

[Titanic Sinclair]
When I look at my phone, and it glows on my face, I am touched by it, in a way that no human could possibly do.

[Mars Argo]
Ambien's a sleeping pill.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Mhmm. Tune in next week where we reenact the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[Mars Argo]
Why aren't we doing that right now?

[Titanic Sinclair]
We really should.

[Mars Argo]
Yeah, that was the point.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Everyone I've asked-

[Mars Argo]
'Bout what?

[Titanic Sinclair]
-about doing that?

[Mars Argo]
Yeah?

[Titanic Sinclair]
Everyone was like, that's a terrible idea. And I was like- every single person from Nigel to my brother, they were like that's a really bad idea. And like, I should probably do it, hahaha.

[Mars Argo]
Reenact it? You mean like actually shoot it up?

[Titanic Sinclair]
No, no no no, just like, reenact it.

[Mars Argo]
Well- it wouldn't be that weird with it-

[Titanic Sinclair]
Like-

[Mars Argo]
I'm pretty familiar with that stuff.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Oh, yeah? You done a lot of heroin in your time?

[Mars Argo]
Well, like, the utensils.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Oh, yeah?

[Mars Argo]
Mhmm.

[Titanic Sinclair]
You done a lot of heroin in your time?

[Mars Argo]
No, but I'm familiar with, the way of administering it.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Light it up in a spoon and melt it?

[Mars Argo]
No! Injecting it.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Oh. Yeah. You can follow her on Twitter, her name is marsargo.

[Mars Argo]
And he's titanicsinclair. Like, the ship.

[Titanic Sinclair]
Subscribe to grocerybagdottv.

[Mars Argo]
Yes. Do that. Mine's better. If you would like to buy a Mars Argo t-shirt or bracelet, visit our store at marsargo.com.