[Intro]
'Sup, internet? You guys good? Me too
Uh, I'm just sitting here in my bedroom
What is happening right now? Whoa, I'm selling out
Let's go

[Verse 1]
I'm a feminine Eminem, a Slim Shady lady
But nice 'cause I texted Haiti
90 lady cops on the road, and I'm arrested for doing 80
Like Hamlet, all about words, words, words
Divide a whole into thirds, thirds, thirds
I'm a gay sea otter
I blow other dudes out of the water
I'm the man muffin, diving, muffin
Cold and fly like an arctic puffin
Puffin' whacky tobaccy
Hating other rappers like I'm Helga Pataki
And I've been rocking this mic before electricity
Way back in a thousand BCE
That's before the common era, era, era, era, (Era, era)
Oh, I can't be stopped, flow so sick that it should be mopped up
Chick's got a dixie cup, I got a dick full of helium, I'll fuck you up
A boy, a girl, a middle-aged bitch, botox in the third person
I give the perspective a switch and Bo talks in the third person
Just relax, if you want to know me, here's two facts:
[Chorus]
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite
Hungry, hungry hypocrite
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite

[Verse 2]
Met a girl named Macy, I had sex with her all day
But she was dyslexic, so I ended up doin' the yMca
We balling, Asian, Wii bowling, prostate cancer semicolon
Find that hole like I'm Stephen Hawking
Atticus Finch, killing, mocking
Cry, like a child would, you raped my childhood
Just stroll in, rollin' your pole into Rolie Polie Olie's colon (Oh)
To relax my mind, I take a walk by the clock and I pass the time and
Rhyming, mathematical timing, syntax impacts the intact hymen
I'm an internet provider, came from the web like a horny spider
Fucked a girl in an apple orchard, then came in cider
I thought AIDS was a butt virus, like conjunction, junction, conjunctivitis
I spit gold bars 'cause I was molested by my uncle Midas
Gay dads blow pops, another sucker
Oedipus was the first motherfucker

[Chorus]
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite (Hypocrite)
Hungry, hungry hypocrite
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite (Hypocrite)
[Verse 3]
We, the people of the USA
Jose, we're not talking to you, essé
We got a border in order to keep you out
It's what my NYU essay's about
Cause we're, xenophobic warrior princess
Molested by my uncle sam, is that incest?
"I Want You To Smell My Finger”
Does my nephew's scent still linger?
South of queers, north of Hell
The queer ones suck and the brown ones smell
We guard the border and we guard it well
But some slip through the cracks of the liberty bell
Did I say liberty? I meant taco, Paco, hey you better let that rock go
'Cause in real life Goliath wins
And then sells all the silk that the widow spins
One more time

[Chrous]
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite (Hypocrite)
Hungry, hungry hypocrite
I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite (Hypocrite)

[Bridge]
Yeah, break it down now, what
Bitches and hoes, Bo's hoes, oh
Bitches and hoes, bitches, hoes
Hoes, Bo's hoes, oh, bitches and hoes
Bitches and hoes don't exist
Because the hoes know Bo's a feminist
Bitches and hoes don't exist
Because the hoes know Bo's a feminist
[Outro]
Bitches, hoes
Hoes, Bo's hoes, oh, bitches and hoes
So take off your bras and burn 'em, oh
Or you can let me burn 'em, oh
Take off your bras and burn 'em, oh
Bitches, hoes
Hoes, Bo's hoes, oh, bitches and hoes
Or you can let Bo Burnham burn 'em
Take off your bras and burn 'em, oh (Burn 'em)
You can let me burn 'em, oh (Burn 'em)
Bitches, hoes
Take off your bras and burn 'em, burn 'em
Or you can let Bo Burnham burn 'em
Hoes, Bo's hoes, oh, bitches and hoes
Bitches!
Ehm, dizzy