[Verse 1]
You filled the hole that pierced my soul, I promised that I'd find
Someone willing to take a run, round pleasures of my mind
Am I a perv, cause every nerve is craving for you touch
You make me laugh, you're my better half
Though you weigh twice as much

350 pounds of love, you must have fell from up above
And killed the townspeople below, you had a crush and you let it show
When I want to pleasure you, I need an expedition crew
With all those trips to KFC, you eat out more than me

[Verse 2]
We look just like the number ten, when you stand next to me
Is it your stare that pulls me in, or just gravity
You mix mayonnaise with your scotch, you're the perfect spouse
Last week we went on a whale watch, the boat drove to your house

350 pounds of pain, when you exhale Al Gore goes insane
Whenever we make-out, I taste jam and sauerkraut
We went on a sailing trip, you fell and floated beside the ship
Then the boat docked on your pants and said, "I claim this island in the name of France"

[Verse 3]
Then you did what I feared, you disappeared, sayin' it was something new
Liposuction, breast reduction, what came home wasn't you
No, no, no, no, it wasn't you
It was 120 pounds of hate, and you said "I look great!"
And when the nurses removed the fat, they found the neighbors cat
I just paused and said to her, "I loved you just the way you were"
Then she smiled and, for my sake, said, "Pass the cake."

[Outro]
Pass the cake
Pass the cake
Pass the cake