It was all a dream, I used to read a quick Nick magazine
Ren and Stimpy, Tommy Pickles and the games between
I'm watching TV in the dark
Every Saturday Double dare with my main man Marky Mark

Summers, Falls, Winters and Springs
I've seen 19 sets cut me open count the rings
But I wish that I could be 8, 9, or 10
Wearing "Life is Good" t-shirts that made sense back then

You wanna know me well here's a list;
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed
I like palindromes like "do geese see god?"
Or "go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog."

And I can do a rubix cube in a minute 20
Fast food and the internet's plenty for me
I'm simple with one dimple
And a weird mole thing on my left nipple

I'm part of the fattest country on the global scale
And were phat with a ph on the ph scale
Because we're so basic

Give us a house and a car and a kid
So we can raise it praise it blaze it up
And get lasik to see how bad we fucked it up
We all had braces our smiles are fake
Another mother saw her hotter daughter's water break
The Miley Cirus virus is as bad as it gets
And similarly as bad as simile Tourette's
Cause like its like I like my right to like
But like I also have like a life to write right? Wrong
This is a road kill song but I couldn't follow the bouncing ball during the sing along
I'm a little tea pot whose steaming mad because the worlds not terrible cause I'm hot

1, 2, Fuck You
I take a stroll around the block to relax my mind
And then I walk by the clock just to pass the time
And rhymin', mathematical timin', syntax impacts the intact hymen trust me
You don't want to fuck with me check my record
Wrecked it on my SAT's I got a 780 math, 730 verbal
Kick a Jonas brother and he'll fart out a gerbil

Voice so sweet call me Mr. Herbal Tea
More deadly than Joseph Goebbel's pee
In a swastika Dixie cup
I got a dick full of helium I'll fuck you up

Put up your fists its a battle of wits
And if you bring your facts sis
Just the cattle with tits
And I'll get mad at their zits
And paddle their bits
With saddles and whips
And rattle their clits...that was rude.....