Bo Burnham
Pigs Are Smarter Than Dogs
Pigs are smarter than dogs.
That’s a fact.
That is “science,” if you will.
Will you?

Pigs are smarter than dogs.
I love my dog.
I also love eating bacon.

So I can stop eating bacon
or I can continue playing a quiet
and aggressive role in the genocide
of a species whose intelligence sits
safely in the middle of my “worthy of real love” spectrum.

Or I can continue eating bacon
and admit that my love for my dog is a sham,
a hollow and meaningless relationship born
of my own insecurities and years of confirmation bias.

He likes me bеcause I feed him.
That’s it. Fuck him.
Bacon is delicious.