[Verse 1]
I grew up as your usual suburbanite
A tiny town in Massachusetts, overwhelmingly white (White— White— White)
I went to church on Sundays in a suit and a tie (In a suit and a tie)
Then spent my free time watching Family Guy
I started doing comedy when I was just a sheltered kid
I wrote offensive shit, and I said it
Father, please forgive me, for I did not realize what I did
Or that I'd live to regret it

[Pre-Chorus]
Times are changing, and I'm getting old
Are you gonna hold me accountable?
My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold
Isn't anybody gonna hold me accountable? Ugh!

[Chorus]
I'm problematic
(He's a problem)
When I was 17, on Halloween, I dressed up as Aladdin
(He's a problem)
I did not darken my skin, but, still, it feels weird in hindsight

[Verse 2]
I want to show you how I'm growing as a person, but first
I feel I must address the lyrics from the previous verse
I tried to hide behind my childhood, and that's not okay
My actions are my own; I won't explain them away
I've done a lot of self-reflecting since I started singing this song
I was totally wrong when I said it
Father, please forgive me, for I did not realize what I did
Or that I'd live to regret it
[Pre-Chorus]
Times are changing, and I'm getting old
Are you gonna hold me accountable?
My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold
Isn't anybody gonna hold me accountable? Ugh!

[Chorus]
I'm problematic
(He's a problem)
I just remembered that Aladdin costume's in my mother's attic
(He's a problem)
I'm gonna go home and burn it
Or not burn it. Is burning it bad? What should I do with it?

[Bridge]
And I've been totally awful
My closet is chock-full of stuff that is vaguely shitty
All of it was perfectly lawful
Just not very thoughtful at all and just really shitty
And I've been totally awful
My closet is chock-full of stuff that is vaguely shitty
All of it was perfectly lawful
Just not very thoughtful at all and just really—

[Outro]
And I'm really fucking sorry
(Bitch, I'm trying to listen; shit, I’ve been complicit)
Sorry
(If I'm gonna catch up, first, I gotta fess up)
Sorry
Sorry