[Verse 1]
He's a really cool guy
He’s got a cool shirt
He's got cool shoes
Did I mention the shirt?
If you ever got the chance to meet him
You'd know why I want to be him
He walks into a room and everyone respects him (Everyone respects him)
He reads the news and doesn’t let that shit affect him (Let that shit affect him)
He's really happy, he's thrilled to be alive
His name is any white guy in 1985

[Chorus]
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 1985)
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)
White guy, 1985 (White guy)

[Verse 2]
He's got a job and a family; how does he do it?
Balances work with his wife's underwhelming cooking
He's got all the answers that I wanna know
How can I be what I am, but 40 years ago?
Gee whiz, he got it and he flaunts
I am the thing he is, but he is it when I want
I guess it's true that some people really got to fight to survive
And some people are white guys in 1985
[Chorus]
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 1985)
White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)
White guy, 1985 (White guy)
Wait!

[Bridge, spoken]
It wasn't easy being any white guy in 1985
Some white guys were living through the AIDS crisis
Some white guys were... Italian
And I’m not saying it’s hard being a white guy now
I've misspoke
(sung)
I don’t mean to lump a group of people in a hive
I think I just meant my dad in 1985

[Chorus]
My dad, 1985 (My dad!)
My father, 1985 (Papa!)
My dad, 1985
Scott Burnham, 1985 (Scott!)
I wanna be my dad (My dad, 1985) (Scott!)
I wanna be my dad (My father, 1985) (Scott!)
In the 80s (My dad, 1985) (Scott!)
My oblivious white dad in the mid-80s (Scott Burnham, 1985) (Scott!)
My dad was an oblivious white guy (My dad, 1985) (General contractor!)
My father was happier than I am (My father, 1985)
If I could be anybody, dead or alive
I would want to be my dad in 1985