High Opinions (skit)
Intro: (introducing a bill that will end marijuana prohibition)
Crack f**ked up the world

Marijuana: i guess i'll start by saying that i think that there are good drugs and bad drugs and its time we started differentiating between the two

Crack: exactly,we are drugs man so lets stop the insanity you know and finally legalise crystal meth

Marijuana: thats a horrible idea

Crack: well,no but but for medical reasons of course

Marijuana: medical meth ?

Crack: yeah,man if the doctor say it helps cures gout than why not let grandma gack out on some tweek yo know

Marijuana: ok no doctor has ever said that

Crack: shhhh ohhhhh shhhhhh did you hear that do you hear that right now?oh my god what is that? what is that? oh god wait thats my heart thats my heart wow thats loud

Marijuana: your made out of battery acid and drain cleaner

Crack: hey man can i trust you because i think the government is against me

Marijuana: they should be

Crack: the cia has an army of spies watching me 24/7 and thats why i hide in the bushes infront of my house every night with a stake knife

Marijuana: folks this is exactly what im talking about meth makes you paranoid and crazy unlike pot which is totally safe

Crack: safe? that stuff takes away Ur motivation i mean do you even have a job like me breaking down boxes at the safe way 17/18 hours a day no you dont

Marijuana: ok,hold on a second,i need water quick water

Crack: c*min bro look dont you wana have sex with stranges in truck stop bathrooms for money how great does that sound
Oh god my tooth fell out

Marijuana: dont you want to go to a fish concert

Crack: nooooooooo nobody wants to go to a fish concert

Marijuana: no one wants to suck trucker d**ks for money

Crack: and i thought you where cool you where the gateway drug

Marijuana: hey c*mon,im still illegally on a Federal level see,ok the states made me legal but the federal gov and the epa where like,wait no the DEA was......

Crack: the cia is behind everything them and the masons and its all conected bro and they are always watching us so ain't nothing we can do because they know everything u get what im saying

Marijuana: wait what where we talking about?

Crack: i need to borrow 25000 from you or someone you know

Marijuana: why do you....

Crack: can you make that happen

Marijuana: no i absolutely not

Crack: i neeed you to burn down my sister inlaws house tonight

Marijuana: (laughing) what?

Crack: tonight and its got to be tonight

Marijuana:why,why does it have to be tonight

Crack: and i can't explain anything else to you

Marijuana: ok,i should just let you talk cause ur soft of digging ur on grave here

Crack: are you gonna help me or not