[PAPYRUS]
It's time for my big number, Sans! Hit it!

[SANS]
Okay

(Sans is heard punching a tree.)

[PAPYRUS]
Sans! I meant play the music!

[SANS]
Okay

(Sans plays the trombone)

[PAPYRUS]
SANS!

[SANS]
Okay, now let's see here... Ah! Here's the play button

[PAPYRUS]
Ready for this brother?!

[SANS]
I don't think anyone could be prepared for this
[PAPYRUS]
Shut up, Sans! You just don't understand perfection!

Engarde now, human
Now you face Papyrus!
Though the guards failed to stop you, I can do it alone!
So be prepared for the ultimate tussle
As you try to show your muscle in this battle of bones!

I see your face, you run all over the place
Wait a sec, I know that look!
Are you flirting with me?
Please understand
I am in such high demand
I'm a skeleton with standards, mostly for spaghetti!

Please don't feel blue, even though I'll capture you

[SANS]
'Cause you can do anything

[PAPYRUS]
All I have to do is try!
Undyne will see, I can be a guard indeed!

[SANS]
Yeah, there's just that kid you need...
[PAPYRUS]
I just hate to say goodbye!

Maybe one day, we all can be friends
And when that day arrives
I know we'll have lots of fun!
But until then
I've got to capture you
Since you're a human-

[SANS]
But you're trying to make friends with one

[PAPYRUS]
SANS! Stop plaguing my number with incidental lyrics!

[SANS]
I think they sounded pretty good

[PAPYRUS]
Well, I thought they sounded like NOT PAPYRUS!
Which is the worst kind of sound to be!

[SANS]
Oh, sorry then
[PAPYRUS]
It's okay, Sans. I already forgave you. Come on! Let's go enjoy some Grillby's!

[SANS]
Uh, Papyrus?
The kid's still here. And the music's still playing. I'm pretty sure that means the song's not over

[PAPYRUS]
Whoopsie doopsie! I completely forgot! HUMAN! Prepare for my second verse attack!

You can do anything
If you want it hard enough
Undyne says that, and she's tough
So I emulate her style!
And that's why I'm the greatest royal guardsman
Or at least one that's in training
Though it's taking quite a while...

But when that's over, we can be friends
And you will see how a guard has immense amounts of fun!
Where are you going, human?
We're supposed to be fighting!
Why do you think this song is done?

Oh, I knew it, Sans. Not even the human respects me!

[SANS]
Hey, bro, bro, that's not true. A lot of people like you

[PAPYRUS]
How do you know?

[SANS]
The undernet has, like, a million renditions of this song. Here's one now. Hit it, boys!

[PAPYRUS]
Sans, this is-

[SANS]
Yep. Knock 'em dead, bro. Prove you're bad to the bone!

[PAPYRUS]
Come on then, human, let's see if you can keep up
With the great Papyrus in this moment of truth!
It won't be easy, you'll have to do actual work
Unlike my lazybones brother in his booth!

[SANS]
Hey!

[PAPYRUS]
You're doing great so far, little human
But since I'm a skeleton, I'm not getting tired at all!
Okay, maybe, I'm losing some breath
But not quite as much as you, wait, be careful! Do not fall!

This is the longest any human's lasted to me-

[SANS]
That's because you haven't met one yet

[PAPYRUS]
So maybe we can take a little break
And lie down for a bit?
NO! Papyrus never rests!

I fooled you, human! Papyrus does not do things with his eyes closed and snoring!

[SANS]
Bro, that's called sleep-

[PAPYRUS]
Bring out the back up dancers!

Stop right there human, listen to me
I am the great Papyrus, and you will never be free!
I'll keep you here, enraptured by puzzles
Unless you want to leave, and ask me really nicely!

You can do anything if you want it hard enough
And we know we've got the stuff, we've got heart, we've got pride!
Undyne might be mad, but I don't care
Because I made a new friend, or at least I really tried!

So if you want to make a new pal
Then be prepared to have a blast, 'cause I know we'll have some fun!
Just like it seems you were prepared for this battle
'Cause I'm nearly out of lyrics and I'm almost done!

What did you say? You want to be friends?

[SANS]
Pal-lease, I knew it'd happen

[PAPYRUS]
SANS JUST STOP IT WITH THE PUNS!

This day is great, I've got a new friend, and it's a human!

[SANS]
I knew that you'd make friends with one