[ALPHYS]
I got past the door!
My god he's on the floor and-
Mettaton, are you-
Oh thank god, he just ran out of batteries, he should be fine, and-

Oh, human, hi!
I suppose that I-
Should explain just why-
I'm sorry, I thought we could be pals if I just put myself into your life!

You understand, right?
If my friend were gone
I'm not sure that I could live without Mettaton

N-no problem, you know?
He's a robot, so
I could build another
If you messed him up, just like I messed things up, I always mess things up, I'm...

I'm garbage. I'm a screwup, I've always been a screwup, always will be a screwup!
I'll never be able to impress Asgore, or Undyne, or-

[UNDYNE]
UNDYNE DO WHAT?
[ALPHYS]
U-Undyne! Hi!

[UNDYNE]
Were you on a date?

[ALPHYS]
Uh, well, y-yes...
I mean, n-no, I mean, I was, picturing a date, with you, romantically in my head...

[UNDYNE]
WHAT?

[ALPHYS]
I MEAN! I mean, Undyne, I... I've been lying to you

I have been lying about everything
Seaweed's not important, I just put it in ice cream!

And the books I said were human history
They are just comic books for big nerds like me!

The history movies that you based your whole way
Of living and fighting on
They're just anime
They're not real, and I want to say-
I just slack off and eat yogurt!
Sitting in my PJs

[UNDYNE]
Alphys...

[ALPHYS]
I just wanted to impress you! I just wanted you to think I was cool! That I wasn't some nerdy loser...

[UNDYNE]
Alphys...

[ALPHYS]
I just, I think you're really great, okay?

[UNDYNE]
Alphys. Shhh. Shhhh

Stop saying all that junk, I do think you're neat!
Most of what you said doesn't matter to me!
All of the things you watch are just nerdy crap
But you have PASSION, and I care about that!
It doesn't matter what it is, YOU CARE!
WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH AND POWER!
[ALPHYS]
Oh my god, my hair!

[UNDYNE]
You do not have to lie to me anymore!
I'll help you be happy with the person you are!

[ALPHYS]
Undyne, do you really mean it?

[UNDYNE]
You bet I do, now don't be scared!
Be prepared!

For your training regimen!

[PAPYRUS]
Get those bones shaking! Let's jog a hundred laps around the theatre, hooting about how great we are!

[UNDYNE]
Ready? I'm about to start the timer!

[ALPHYS]
Undyne, I- thank you

[PAPYRUS AND ALPHYS]
Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

[UNDYNE]
OH, MY GOD!
She was kidding, right?
Those cartoons, those comics, those are still real, right?
Anime's real... Right?
Anime's real, right?!
ANIME'S REAL, RIGHT?!

[Papyrus and Alphys]
HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP!


[UNDYNE]
You take real good care of Alphys, human! She deserves it!

[ALPHYS]
Phew... I... I haven't had... that much exercise... ever...
H-human. T-there's something you need to see

I know you heard Undyne
Said I do not need to lie
So I won't today

I've done more than enough lying
I'm tired of trying
It anyway

Undyne showed lots of concern
Telling me I deserved
A happy life!

If she knew the things I did
She wouldn't like me, kid
Not my fish wife!

Don't tell her I said that!

So step this way
Like in anime
'Cause I trust you
Do what you need to

Do with my secret
Dangit, Alphys, quit it!
Stop that dismay
Come on, this way...